Posted by bedroomcoder on Jun 17, 2010 13:49 (Jun 17, 2010 13:49)
10 - Power Rangers: Time Force
You ever hear of the curse of the Power Rangers? The one where most of them are now either dead, insane or in jail for murder (look it up, it’s true)? I wonder if that applies to videogames as well, because this is bad enough to be the outcome of some terrible curse. The show wasn’t that great anyway – ropey, cheesy plotting and special-effects courtesy of Toho in the 1950’s was about the limit. This game is a mess of bad game design. It is possible to blitz the game once you master the jump-kick. Nothing can stand in your way after that. Add in terrible graphics and a whole insect farm’s worth of bugs, and you’ve got a Grade A stinker on your hands.
9 - Action Man: Mission Xtreme
I remember seeing this in the rental shop and thinking “Wow! A game based on the leading brand of military-themed toys! How could they possibly mess this up?” Now I know. Now I know far too much. The simple answer is – in every possible way. A bloodless, charmless cash-in that patronises its target audience by offering little in the way of challenge. Broken controls and a weak targeting system mar a game that, agonisingly, has the shreds of a decent game hidden within its engine.
8 - Resident Evil: Gun Survivor
Imagine a Resident Evil with all the likeable characters, familiar locations and clever puzzles removed. Then take the awful tank-like control system and stick the camera in the main character’s head. Add large numbers of enemies, very slow turning speeds and painfully limited ammo and you have a recipe for frustration. You also get RE: Gun Survivor. Impossible to play without a light gun, it’s fiddlier than a greased-up fiddler crab to control, and the lack of decent puzzles, coupled with a dull story and murky graphics make this an instalment in the series Resi fans would like to forget.
7 - Army Men 3D
If you’re old enough, you might remember the Army Men series. It spread like a cancer across many gaming formats, with sequel after sequel being churned out despite the fact that none of the games were very good. In fact, most of them were downright appalling. And this entry is one of the worst. The first time the series entered 3D, it’s an abysmal run and gun game with literally nothing to offer. Feeling totally unfinished, I actually dropped through the scenery at one point, and got stuck, totally immobile whilst the enemy gunned me down at another. Shockingly bad, and yet somehow they went on to make more. THE MIND BOGGLES.
6 - Bubsy 3D
The worst of all the mascots in the Great Nineties Mascot Craze, Bubsy the Bobcat had literally nothing going for him. He was annoying, obnoxious and 30% of the population was allergic to his fur. The first few games were total crap but sold like hotcakes baked by Jesus, but the series finally jerked and spasmed to a terrible death when it went 3D. Trying to be like Super Mario 64, but with none of the former’s ambition, style or technical nous, it was a complete disaster.
My old pal used to go out and buy all the games that were giving bad reviews in the magazines for some strange reason. 1 that springs to mind was called Killing Zone. got 1 star out of 10 and was a fighting game with like frankenstien and that. check the state of it
A lot of these games (back in their day) were improved by the crack team's intro that preceeded them
You missed out the whole series of 'games' where it was a dodgy VHS (or VCD) animated film which sounded the same as the Disney film but was some awful backroom job done by an alien who'd never seen the original book. To make it into a 'game' they bolted on a few picture swap games based on the film or a colouring in 'book'.
Yes it was aimed at whiny kids and, when I worked for a mate's console market stall back in those days, we sold quite a few at £5. But we always pretended they were 'great' in order to shift them!
Fair play, that is indeed a list of really bad titles. I have actually played a couple of them namely Resident Evil: Survivor and Action Man: Mission Xtreme and can honestly say they were...ah, can't swear on here...er...rather jolly terrible!
As for the Barbie games, doesn't that sort of desecration happen to most consoles towards the end of their lifespan? (except for maybe the DS where they are shovelling Barbie, Disney Princess and assorted 'Imagine' games out at a frightening rate even now). Looking at lists of stuff coming out late in the life of the PS2 and there is evidence of that kind of thing happening (Bratz: The Movie anyone?)
A great article! I have never played any of those but have seen a Barbie game and it was dreadful. I remember that Digitizer on C4 teletext used to go on about Army Men games quite a bit, in quite a funny way. They were really fed up of them and there were lots of them.
Jun 21, 2010 23:25:10 (
Jun 21, 2010 23:25
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